January was an eventful month for us. Derek went on a cruise to the Bahama's for work. He had only been home a day when I ended up in the emergency room and almost died.
The night before Derek got home I was feeling VERY sick. The kind of sick where I paid Bridger a lot just for him to entertain Lilly. Normally when I am sick, I can at least break up a fight or help get them something to eat or at least put on a movie. This time I basically told my almost seven year old and three year old "good luck, I hope you survive". I went to bed feeling like a horrible mom but I just couldn't do much to help.
Derek came home late that night.
The next day I had an appointment to see the doctor. About an hour before I went in I had an episode of SVT (Supra ventricular Tachycardia) which I have experienced occasionally for the past fifteen years. I was feeling dizzy and just plain awful. I asked Derek to drive me to the doctor because I didn't think I could make it. He looked at me like I was crazy and said no. (he might feel bad after what happened next)
I made it to the doctor and told the receptionist that I was going to pass out and that I needed an EKG immediately. They got me back fairly quick. At this point I thought my episode had stopped but the EKG showed my heart rate at about 250 beats per minute. They did a blood test a throat culture and sent me home with a prescription and told me to drive careful because I was very pale.
I tried to avoid my family so I wouldn't get them sick. When the kids went to bed I walked downstairs to get a drink. By the time I got to the kitchen I had chest pain and could hardly breathe. I tried to yell for Derek a few times but couldn't get enough breath to yell very loud. I called the doctors office and for some reason the nurse I had seen earlier answered. It was 7:30 at night! She told me I should go to the ER immediately. I said I had to find someone to watch my kids and she told me I shouldn't wait, I needed to go. I got off the phone and thought "I'm not that bad" but I was going downhill fast. I finally got Derek's attention and he tried to discourage me from going to the ER. He thought my inhaler from a previous illness might help. I called my friend to see if she would come over and within minutes it was apparent I needed urgent medical help.
Derek drove me to the hospital. At first he was puttering along and stopping at the lights. I remember feeling annoyed that he was taking his time. Then he started yelling my name. The first time it scared me to death but then I became unresponsive...he started running stop signs. At this point Derek was a mad man. I remember he almost jumped out of he car before it had stopped, luckily he got back in and put it in park. Then he was frantically trying to open a wheelchair when someone from the ER ran out to help. As soon as they stood me up to put me in the wheelchair I blacked out. I can remember bits and pieces of conversation but don't recall seeing anyone. I remember how slowly the receptionist lady helped us "What is your name?", "What is your address?" I thought I was yelling at her to HELP ME! Derek said I was just slumped over in the wheelchair.
They took me over to take my vitals and couldn't get a blood pressure. They tried three times before someone saw that I was blue. At this point I am completely gone but Derek said they rushed me back and called in the cardiac team. I had about 10 people frantically working on me:. cutting off clothes, IV, EKG, the whole works. Once they laid me down I felt like I was involved again. In my mind I was answereing the thousands of questions the cardiologist was asking. But Derek said I wasn't even awake. (So for those people that look like they are in a coma...my guess is that they can hear)
My heart was still beating but was not pumping blood anywhere. They gave me a dose of medicine that stops the heart completely, basically kills you, you can't breathe the heart monitor flatlines etc. Then the medicine wears off and your heart should start beating. The first time it didn't work. So they gave me a double dose. I can't even begin to describe the fear that causes! They warn you before they do it that you are going to feel like you are going to die...I already felt that way. But that medicine feels like a thousand pound weight is dropped on your chest. Your heart stops, you can't breathe, your chest constricts to where you feel like your ribs break, my leg muscles spasmed and shot in the air. You are in such a state of panic and then it wears off. They were just about to use those electric shockers on me when you hear the heart monitor beep, beep, beep. Luckily it worked because getting shocked when I was aware of what was happening does not sound fun and I hear it hurts like crazy!
They kept me in the ER for 6 more hours. Someone was by my side the entire time. I remember telling Derek that I had been in the ER a few times (Even with a broken back) and they were never as quick to help or as nice and attentive as they were that night. Derek looked at me like I was crazy and said you almost died!!! the waiting room was full, the only reason someone was there was because they were worried it would happen again. So if you want good service in the ER- have heart failure.
After x-rays, bloodwork, all sorts of tests, they sent me home. It was such a weird feeling to go home after something like that. They had filled out all the admittance forms but said they couldn't find anything that would make me have to stay if I didn't want to. Derek didn't want me to. I think I would have felt safer if I had.
I can't explain how strange it was to just drive home and go to bed. My kids had no idea that their mom almost died that night. They were in bed when we left and in bed when we got home. We will never tell them. Bridger would never leave my side again!
